


Tie Me Up

by Valentia



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Castiel's Tie, M/M, Season/Series 10
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-18
Updated: 2015-03-18
Packaged: 2018-03-18 12:02:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,073
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3568904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Valentia/pseuds/Valentia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I liked you better in a tie." Castiel did not forget this sentence of Claire, therefore he gets himself a new one. But there is one thing they don't teach angels in Heaven: how to tie your necktie. And what else could Cas possibly do than ask a certain Dean Winchester for help?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tie Me Up

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [Tie Me Up](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/106908) by Valentia. 



> I'm back. :)  
> In this story, especially in the first few paragraphs, I kinda wrote down my opinion on this whole tie thing. Maybe some of you will understand how I feel about it. Actually I wrote the story right after 10x09, and after 10x10 where Cas didn't have a tie yet we didn't get to see him again until 10x14, so I had no idea that he'd REALLY get his tie back, even though I hoped for it a lot. And we still don't know how he got it back on, right? ;) However, I'm really happy about it, although the new tie doesn't look like the old one. Still I cried when I recognized it (yes I'm really REALLY attached to this goddamn tie).  
> One last thing: It's possible that I have confused words or used some in the wrong circumstances, because I really never wrote about the topic of a tie before. :D So please tell me if there are mistakes!  
> Hope you like the story anyway! Enjoy! :)

Castiel didn't forget this sentence of Claire. He didn't get it out of his mind for some time and his smile as he thought about it had never gone away. After his death and the stay in the institution Dean and Sam had bought him a shirt, a suit and shoes again and Dean had even kept Castiel's old trenchcoat and given it back to him, but no one had thought about a tie. In retrospect, it came to him that he felt as if he hadn't been his true self for all this time, as if a piece of him was missing. Sure, Jimmy Novak was just a vessel, but after Castiel's death Jimmy's soul had ascended to heaven, and now that Castiel didn't even have his grace anymore and was more man than angel, Jimmy had finally become Castiel and this simple blue tie was as much a part of him as it had been of Jimmy.

But it was missing, for a few years now, and only Claire's last words to him had opened his eyes. The tie was more than a mere accessory, so that his outfit was complete. It was more than a simple garment, it was the true Castiel in a way. Because when he was resurrected, he had lost all his memories. Certainly much had returned, but it was just a part of the whole. He would never be truly himself again, and this tie symbolized the old Castiel who pulled Dean Winchester out of the hell, had witnessed the apocalypse and rebelled against heaven. The tie would not help him regain his old self - nothing could do that - but perhaps he felt a bit more like himself again. Maybe it helped him not to forget his story, and perhaps it was easier to hold on to what he knew about himself from before.

Presumably it was absurd, but if Castiel had learned one thing during his time on earth, it was that everyone needed something he could hold on to - which reminded him of who he was. And for Castiel, maybe, this thing was a blue tie. Castiel thought about Dean and that for him it was the necklace that he got for Christmas from Sam when they had been children. When he had thrown it in the trash, it had been a sign that things had changed, too. Something between Dean and Sam had been broken then, just like something had been broken in Castiel after his death, and even if Dean had a new amulet now, it would not undo what had happened. But it reminded them of better times and what they meant to each other and so it was with Castiel and his tie.

It really puzzled Cas that it had only struck him after such a long time, but maybe he had to become a little more human first in order to understand things like that. Like so many things. But at least, and that was probably more than most of the angels could say about themselves, he knew where to get a tie. When Castiel after hours finally found a tie that looked exactly like the one he had worn back in the days, he gazed at it in his hand and couldn't help but grin. It almost bordered on insanity that something could mean so much to someone afterwards. But presumably it was like this every time. You only saw the value of things, if you had lost it. Another thing Castiel had learnt with pain during his time on earth.

Castiel still smiled at the tie in his hand. He just wanted to put it on when he realized that he didn't know how to do it. He had never been in need of putting Jimmy's clothes off and on again and even if angels knew a lot: How to put on a tie was not taught in heaven. So Castiel had no choice but to pay the Winchesters a visit and ask them to knot his tie, even if it was a little embarrassing. And, as expected, Dean made fun of Castiel's disability.

“They don't teach you things like that up there, right?” he said with a grin, while Sam couldn't hold back a chuckle.

It had been a very long time since Castiel had seen Dean smile and it filled him with a comforting feeling. It was nice to know that there was still a spark of joy in Dean. And so his tie got another meaning, which was almost as important as its original one. Castiel just smiled and shook his head in embarrassment. The tie hung down on either side of his hand and it seemed so surreal that such a simple thing could force him to his knees. If the apocalypse could had been stopped by tying a necktie all by Castiel, they would probably all be dead now.

“No, it's not. And I'm sorry if I bother you with that.”

Dean looked up from his book (yes, Dean actually read, but only because there was a chapter on the Mark of Cain) and shook his head, smiling.

“You're never bothering us, Cas,” Dean said and Sam agreed. “It's nice to see you again.”

“Also nice to see you.”

Castiel smiled again, then he gazed down at his tie. Dean sighed, threw Sam an amused look and walked around the large table in the living room of the bunker, so that he came to a stop right in front of Castiel. Sam turned back to his laptop and Castiel held the tie out to Dean.

“Oh man,” Dean sighed and grinned again, so that the little laugh lines next to his eyes appeared.

Castiel liked it. Dean took the tie and smoothed it down skimpy. It felt strange as he put it around Castiel's neck. A long time had passed since they had been so close for the last time. Dean remembered that Castiel had always appeared way too close to him and that he had told him over and over again that he needed his personal space - what Cas had obviously skillfully ignored. Dean didn't know if he should regret that today or not.

“Thank you,” Castiel said and Dean didn't know when they had come so close that he could feel Cas' breath on his face.

He smiled back for only a moment, then began to tie the tie. Castiel was silent and his attitude was as stiff as ever. He looked past Dean over to the door, but again and again his eyes darted back to Dean's face and he eyed up the concentrated expression. Dean didn't seem tense, just concentrated, as if his life depended on that he did the best tie knot in the world for Castiel. An unusual tingling began to come up in Cas, but it was gone as quickly as it had come, and because he couldn't place it, he forgot it quickly.

Dean had almost finished his knot when he suddenly sighed and undid the tie. Castiel squinted and tilted his head as he always did if he didn't understand something, but he didn't say anything. Surely Dean had his reasons. Maybe he'd done something wrong, in spite of his concentration, for he usually only tied a tie for himself, maybe it was not quite as perfect as he wanted. Castiel felt Dean's breath on his right cheek with every breathing and it caused an unfamiliar feeling. He was really close to Dean and he didn't quite understand why this thought was so obtrusively stuck in his mind all of a sudden.

Dean brought his second attempt to an end and when he had finished, he softly smoothed down the tie at Castiel's chest until he realized that he _just did that_. He quickly pulled back his hand and was thrown off course for a moment. Then he rallied himself again, wondering as he took one step away from Castiel why he felt this sudden distance as unpleasant.

“Done,” he said, looking pleased at his work.

Dean scrutinized Castiel from the bottom to the top and for some reason there was a certain tingle when he looked at his former angel and found that he really looked like before. Maybe a little older and his hair was not quite that disheveled, but it really brought back memories of the old Castiel. Dean noticed that his blue eyes had almost the same color as the tie, and for once in his life he allowed himself to think of something so corny. Castiel looked down and smoothly stroked his tie again, although Dean had already done that. It tingled again. Castiel noticed that Dean had put on his tie wrong.

“Dean, the tie is the wrong way around,” he said and watched as Dean ran his fingers through his hair, so that a tiny strand of hair sticked out.

“You had worn it that way back then.”

“I know, but does that not make a weird impression?”

Dean shrugged his shoulders and buried his hands in the pockets of his jacket.

“It didn't bother you back then.”

“I know.”

“But I like it that way.”

In the exact moment that Dean said this, he realized that Sam still sat at the table next to them, all paying attention.

“I mean, if we ever bring back the good old tie, then exactly like before, right?”

Dean wanted to save himself with a laugh, but he failed miserably. He hadn't wanted to say any of this. He looked at his brother, hoping that he was too engrossed in his homework to notice, but Dean's hopes were abruptly shattered when he met Sam's amused gaze.

“Don't be bothered by me,” he said laughing and Dean was 100% sure that Sam thought of this CasDean story, when they had been involved in the case with the Supernatural musical.

“Thank you again,” Castiel said, giving Dean a warm and genuine smile.

Even if it only was a little thing, it really meant a lot to Castiel that he was wearing the tie again. Maybe it also meant a lot to him that Dean had put it on him, but for a different reason he didn't know. He just still felt this tingling while looking at Dean. Dean, in turn, tried to avoid staring right at Castiel. He nervously ran his fingers through his hair once again and if Sam, who would later annoy him with that, hadn't been there he would have invented some excuse to make Castiel leave. But to be honest, he didn't want Castiel to leave. He rather wanted Sam to hop off for a while, and this fact seriously scared him.

“Sure, time and again, man,” Dean said. “But don't get here every day and ask me to knot your tie! I'm not your personal tie slave.”

Next to them Sam began to laugh softly and Dean just didn't want to know what Sam was thinking about at that moment. Really not. Why could he not just shut his mouth?

“No, I will not ask you every day, don't worry.”

An awkward silence arose between them and Castiel didn't know what to do. Did Dean want him to leave now? This silence, was it a sign that he was no longer welcome? When Castiel was honest with himself - and he had sworn to be from now on and forever, no more lies - he didn't want to go. He wanted to stay with Dean and somehow he regretted it that the knotting of the tie hadn't taken any longer. He had enjoyed being so close to Dean, just like back in the old days before the whole dilemma with his pact with Crowley. And because Castiel didn't lie to himself, he also admitted that he would absolutely not mind being a little bit closer to Dean than that. Suddenly, Sam cleared his throat and turned off his laptop.

“I'll leave you alone then and make my way to my date.”

Sam immediately put his laptop back into its bag, grinning at the two men for one last time, and then disappeared to his room in order to get ready for his date (Sam's first real date for ages what Dean had commented with a _“Finally, Sammy, at last!”_ ). Now there were only Castiel and Dean left and both of them didn't really know how to break this awkward silence. It was obvious that there was something between them, which was simply ... _new_ , and Dean got seriously worried because he had seen enough movies to know what such a silence after such an action meant. Castiel's voice interrupted his thoughts.

“Shall I go, too? I mean, I guess I should go. Right?”

Castiel looked at Dean expectantly and the tingling became heavier. Now it began to be really uncomfortable. Dean didn't know what to say. No, he definitely didn't want Castiel to leave, but on the other hand it would have been a clear admission that he liked Castiel being near - liked it a lot - , if he told him that he should stay. Dean gazed at the tie once again, which finally was around Castiel's neck again, and smiled at the thought of how he had tied it.

“If you have nothing else to do, you can stay here, if you want.”

 _Well done_ , Dean praised himself, _that neither sounded as if you wanted him to stay, nor the other way around._

“I would like to stay,” Castiel said truthfully and glanced at the book that Dean had read before he had arrived. “And I don't disturb your reading?”

Dean shook his head.

“No, absolutely not. I'm glad to get away from that for a moment.”

“I hope for more than a moment.”

 _Yeah, me too_ , Dean thought while he was amused that Castiel always took everything so literally. But of course he didn't say this out loud.

“For more than a moment.”

“Alright then.”

Right at that moment Sam came out of the kitchen, the car keys of the Impala in one hand, his jacket in the other. Dean looked at him suspiciously and Sam raised both hands slightly as if to surrender so that the keys jingled.

“I know, one scratch and I'm dead.”

“Exactly,” Dean replied, then Sam said goodbye and was already out the door.

The problem with this was that with Sam's absence the awkward silence returned. And Dean didn't understand that. Back in the days it had been different. They had always had something to talk about, and when they had been silent, the silence still had said enough. Maybe it was due to the fact that it actually was the first time that Castiel was with Dean for completely no reason. Castiel had come to them with the request that someone tied his tie, and now he was still there. Castiel had a lot of time, since he barely had to take care of matters in heaven anymore. Slowly but surely the angels rebuilt their home and it was almost uncanny that something actually went well for them. Dean couldn't claim the same for himself, for he was still wearing the Mark of Cain.

“How did you get on this whole tie thing, anyway?” Dean finally asked and Castiel reflexively smoothed down his tie again.

“Claire said that she likes me better in a tie. When we met for the last time.”

“Yeah, so do I.”

Castiel smiled and he felt the tingling again, reinforced now.

“It seems as if it has something special about it. Yet it's just a simple tie.”

“Well, Cas, it's the little things that make life to what it is in the end.”

“Yes, probably,” Castiel whispered, more to himself than to Dean.

Then he looked back up again and stared right into Dean's eyes and the tingling was so strong that it had spread throughout his whole body. He came one step closer to Dean and Dean didn't flinch. He didn't flinch, because, damn, it _pleased_ him that Castiel headed towards him. A voice in his head screamed that he should do the same, and the other voice was the one who said that since Sam's absence the best thing Dean could do was run away. But Dean was damn tired of running away all the way. He _wanted_ Cas to stay with him, he _wanted_ to be close to him, and he wanted Cas to somehow notice this without being in need to explain himself.

Finally, Dean overcame himself and closed up on Castiel, already a cool saying on his lips that he had concocted for such moments (yes, Dean always knew exactly what he could say in any situation). But his brain just seemed to suspend as he became aware of how close they were now. As close as before. And then Castiel's breath stroked his nose again and the tingling came back, and simply because he didn't know what to do he raised his hands and fixed Castiel's shirt collar. There was nothing to fix, but he just had to do something or he would have gone crazy. He ignored the fact that he technically just fumbled at Cas.

“What are you doing, Dean?” Castiel asked and his voice was _so damn close._

“Nothing,” Dean said and dropped his hands shaking (since when had he been shaking?!).

“Strictly speaking, it is impossible to do nothing, Dean,” Cas said completely objectively and looked straight into Dean's eyes, in order to emphasize his seriousness.

Dean didn't know what to say to that. He felt that without his consent his heart had simply decided to beat much faster than normal, and he just felt completely betrayed by his whole body. Castiel's presence was definitely not good for him. He could no longer deny everything. But the biggest problem was that now in turn, Castiel had lifted his hands to fix Dean's shirt collar. Dean very clearly felt Castiel's hands on his neck and the warmth he radiated. His body responded with an even faster heartbeat and increased tingling and it was definitely not a good sign. When Castiel had finished, he gave Dean a sly grin (and damn, it looked good on him!).

“At least at your shirt collar there was something to fix.”

 _Damn_ , Dean thought, _he knows, he knows exactly!_ And as if the situation hadn't been absurd enough, Dean perceived that they came closer and closer. Only very slowly as if in slow motion, but they definitely got closer! Castiel's warm breath was still stroking Dean's face once in a while and Dean's eyes flickered back and forth between Castiel's eyes and his mouth, again and again. They were so close now that their noses were almost touching, and Castiel didn't blink even once and really seemed to look straight into Dean's soul. When Castiel finally started to tilt his head, Dean realized that he was about _to kiss Castiel_ , and recoiled. He shivered and ran his fingers through his hair again and tried to look everywhere but at Cas.

“I'm sorry, I-” Dean sighed. ”I can't. I mean, I-” He sighed again. “It's better if you leave now.”

Castiel was disappointed. Officially, he was disappointed, he _felt_ the disappointment and he knew that he, if it felt like that, would rather have no feelings at all. It was a sharp pain in his chest. It still tingled inside of him and he wanted to kiss Dean _so bad_ that the desire was almost unbearable. Castiel knew that feelings could drive people crazy. But Dean didn't want it, Dean didn't want _him_ , and he had to accept that, no matter how hard it was.

“I understand. I'll go now.” Cas tried to let Dean not see how he felt and walked past him. “Thanks again for the thing with the tie.”

Cas was right next to Dean when Dean grabbed his arm and so prevented him from leaving. Cas stared questioningly into Dean's eyes and he spotted a firm determination and maybe even a spark of desire.

“Don't you dare tell Sam.”

And then Dean's hand went up from Castiel's arm to his new tie and in a jerk he pulled Cas near so that Cas could tilt his head just in time before their lips met. And it felt so much better than Castiel had expected! Dean smirked into the kiss as he noticed how shy Castiel tried to wrap his arms around him. He put his free hand to Castiel's neck, firmly clasping the tie now with the other one. _The smoothing was probably in vain_ , he thought, smiling a little. When Dean slightly started moving his lips against Castiel's, a little sigh escaped Cas and he pushed his lips even harder against Dean's. He even dared to pull him a little closer, what made Dean really happy. But Castiel still seemed very cramped and Dean slightly stroked through his hairline to calm him down.

“Calm down, Cas, it's alright,” he mumbled against their lips and it let Castiel actually relax.

When Dean slightly nudged against Castiel's lips with his tongue, Cas pulled away. His lips and cheeks were red and he was breathing fast. Castiel didn't make the slightest effort to take his arms from Dean, and so Dean decided that he had absolutely no reason why he should take his hand from Castiel's neck. He just forbade himself to think that Cas' hair was much softer than he had expected, but horribly failed at that. Castiel shirked from Dean's look while Dean slowly removed his hand from the tie and smoothed it on Castiel's chest, this time fully aware of what he was doing.

“I'm sorry, Dean,” Castiel said, letting his head hung a little.

He was ashamed that he had such a lack of experience and maybe disappointed Dean, but that was all so new to him. Surely he had kissed April and slept with her, but that hadn't meant anything to him. Right now there was Dean and he was very important to Castiel and he didn't want to do anything wrong.

“I get it, man,” Dean said, but he didn't sound angry or disappointed. He just understood.

“I'm sorry.”

“Not for that,” Dean said honestly, slowly lowering his hand from Castiel's neck.

“I guess I should go now.”

Dean cried inside that Castiel should stay, but he couldn't say it out loud. There was so much he wanted to tell Cas, but no word left his lips. He still felt the tingling in his heart and his rapid heartbeat and Castiel still looked so downcast in front of him. Then a jolt went through Cas and he turned away from Dean to go to the door of the bunker. This time Dean didn't stop him.

“But hey, Cas, I wouldn't mind if you were to come over again soon so that I can help you with your tie again.”

Dean didn't mention that he meant removing the tie from Cas, not putting it on. A small smile crept onto Castiel's face as he turned on his heel. He was back in front of Dean with three large steps, grabbing him by the collar of his shirt, just to take a brief look deep into his eyes and then to kiss him hard. Dean gasped in surprise, just letting it happen. He was about to start a second attempt to deepen their kiss when Cas pulled away again and let go of his shirt.

“Maybe you should also wear a tie sometimes, it's much easier then,” he said before he left the bunker without another word, leaving Dean stunned.

 _Angels_ , Dean thought as he had calmed down again, _even if they have fallen, they are still so damn unpredictable._ For Castiel, his tie had received another beautiful meaning this day and he was infinitely grateful that Claire had made him get a new tie after such a long time. It was probably the best thing he had done in recent times. When Dean and Sam set out for another case the next day and Dean was knotting the tie of his suit for an FBI interview, he couldn't help but to think about Castiel and that he'd actually really like to know how it felt to be pulled over by his tie for a kiss with his angel. But of course that was just pure curiosity.


End file.
